Breakups Can Feel Like Small Deaths

You run into a fun cat video on the Internet, and automatically think about sharing it to a person you know would find it funny, but then you realise you don’t do that anymore. Your whole social environment can change when you break up with someone.

Naturally there are many ways of handling the breakup, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll not be in contact with the person and their relatives at all. I don’t have experience about it, I have always broken up so that we haven’t stayed friends. In hindsight it has felt quite extreme: I have often spent all my holidays at my companion’s relatives, and suddenly all ties are broken, like there was some dramatic disaster wiping most of the people in your life away.

I thought it was good to get the situation clear right away, but over time I have wondered what it does to one’s mind. After all, suddenly a lot of people cease mattering and those connections in your brain and social life just fade away until you no longer remember what were the names of those people. In a way like losing a limb, if you like.

It feels like I have lived multiple lives, died and then born again (with someone new).

It is possible that my way of handling the breakups is a result of my lack of social and emotional skills. I also have always had quite small social life on my own so I get easily absorbed to my companion’s life. Don’t get me wrong, I have also liked to go head fist full speed to a new relationship, without holding back. It might not be healthy in the end, and it doesn’t make the relationship balanced either.

My plan is to focus more on building long term friendships and be a better friend. Hopefully this will make me a better human being in general, and also a better partner.